Some mornings we wake up and it SEEMS everything is a struggle. We stub our toes, we oversleep, we wake up in physical pain, or maybe emotional pain.
What we know for sure is that our lives are imperfect.
Acknowledge your feelings about the things that are happening and THEN DECIDE how you are going to react to them. This is huge for you to know and practice. You do not have to react to every single thing that occurs. Personally, I used to be a super strong reactor. Outta my way if things didn’t go well! I would be a grouch for a good while. You would know I was grouchy by my stomping around in silence. Thankfully, I don’t end up here very often at all anymore.
When I react and behave negatively the negativity continues. It’s as if I’m begging for more yucky feelings when I react poorly to the ones I’m given. Here’s an example that you might see in your life: You stub your toe. You call out. You might scream. You might begin swearing that you never put that chair there. You wake up the whole house expressing your pain. You feel mad at yourself. You feel mad at others for this injustice. You are tense and wound up. On and on. This is not a nice start. You finally get on the road to work and someone cuts you off in traffic. All the lights seem to be red. You’re already running behind because you started the day off track with the massive toe-stubbing incident. It just isn’t your day. You keep reacting to everything negative.
You do not notice the sun warming your face. You do not notice the gentle breeze that caresses your face. You don’t notice the flowers that are blooming. The geese wandering around the lawn at the park. The woman who waves you into traffic ahead of her. That your gas tank is still full! That…well, this list could go on and on as well. The negative things to which you give your energy by reacting, are big and bold. The beautiful things you’ve ignored to give energy to the negative seem to not even exist.
In this moment you have two choices. Keep wrapping yourself in the negativity that is spinning out of control or DECIDE to pull yourself out of it.
Here’s how I pull myself out of it. Give this a try for you.
Acknowledge what has happened instead of reacting. Yes, being in pain or being scared is difficult. It’s natural to have words when you stub your toe. So have your words and then pause. This is the place where everything changes. Instead of spinning out of control with anger…pause. Breathe. Tend to your toe. If you need ice go and get it. If you need something, get it. Breathe some more. React with kindness and gentleness to yourself. You didn’t hurt yourself on purpose. If anything, that thing in your toe’s path was placed there to bring you into the present moment. So stay in the present. Breathe some more. (Note: You’re going to want to stick with this habit. Breathing is good for you.)
Feel your body respond to each breath. You’re not a victim right now. This isn’t an injustice. This is what is. Feel your muscles and mind relax again. As you breathe, give thanks for your breath. Look around and give thanks for other things. Look more deeply and give thanks for the things you cannot see. Give thanks for love. Give thanks for time. Give thanks for your feelings, for your mind, for your ability to change your thoughts.
Then pause for a minute to invite the good stuff to turn up its volume and brightness. Notice all of it. Look for things to notice. Remind yourself to be present today–not stuck in the past or worried for the future–so that you can see and appreciate the good things when they happen. And they do happen. They happen each day. Sometimes we just get caught up in something else and miss them.
I know that you do not want to miss them.
I believe in you.
Rebecca Wiener is the founder of Heal With Hypnosis and creator of “The Whole Life Happy Method”. Rebecca is an experienced, consulting hypnotist dedicated to helping men and women resolve fears, sadness, and anger, and get unstuck to achieve their dreams. If you are struggling, call Rebecca at 605-940-8389 or visit Heal With Hypnosis website for a free consultation.